the silent treatment.

you ignore me. You make me feel abandoned. I simply wanted to greet you, have some small conversation. What seemingly means nothing to you, what seems to Annoy and creep you out has such high meaning for the likes of me. The fact that I will never see you again is not enough for you. I feel the awkwardness through the screen. I feel your shame of me, I feel your disgust. It hurts so much, I cry. I just wish to speak to you. The simple conversation I had hoped would be pleasant, I now see you felt the opposite. Wanting to red of me like social vermin. With your silence comes a storm. It feels like I am abandoned on a rock at sea. Miles from land. The waves are relentless, freezing rain, the thunder is so loud it rips my soul ever time it roars,  lightning so bright it wipes your face from
My memory as it splits the sky. I will never be enough for you, not even enough for me. I am at the end of my rope. A failure among the population. Everything I had set out for has become an impossibility. You are doing the things I have dreamed of, it is like you stole them from my head and my heart. I am jealous. Ravenous with love, jealousy, fear, and the chilling gut stab of your silence seems worse than death. It seems not enough that I will never see you again. I never speak to or think of you it seems are your wishes, well this I can not do. I will always speak to you as long as I have the ability. If only we could meet in person do I could explain or dictate how I have felt over these years. My love, my fear, everything. I will be lucky to bag your groceries at the store or pass you on the street. Certainly you will pretend like you never saw me, your face will forever be engrained in my mind and my heart. I will always wait for you. In this life or the next. I pledge my soul to you forever. Please, I beg you, just speak to me.