Well, this is my first intended blog post, the others were ramblings of digital journal notes that i copied and pasted, there will be a combination of both. So obviously I have a hang-up over a woman in my past, expect me to talk a-lot about that and my other failed relationships in this blog. There will be a blind of cooking, music and movie quotations and references here, thats what I dig, if you do not dig it, then screw.
Today, today was an interesting day. I did... Nothing much. I went for a short walk, then out with my roommates whom I have begun to despise in recent months. More on them coming up.
this is going to be a very very long one.
lets see, what to say. I am a very weird guy. I think much about many different topics. I like to prepare and organize. Organization and cleanliness is a strong suit of mine.
The lady in my first three blog posts I met in high school. Lets call her "Marie" to keep her identity a secret for as long as possible. Basically the story goes like this in chronological order, minus the stuff you should have already read about. I met her, yada yada yada. A while goes by and someone I thought was my friend asks me if I like anyone or anything on my families porch, well I say I am and say who it is. This is on a saturday night, come monday he is dating her behind my back, popped her cherry and dumped her just to spite me. I beat the shit out of that guy, and he knew it was coming and did nothing about it afterwards. even though the girl Marie was heartbroken, she was displeased with my actions, and that with a couple other unfortunate remarks made, possibly taken out of context of over dramatized, she does not like to speak to me much and thinks I am sort of creepy, which I sort of agree with, or in respect- understand her reasoning for. So now I try and chat with her back and fourth, in hopes of having her not hat me, but that never works out well. At this point it has been 8 years and I still have incredibly strong feelings for this girl and I do not even know her very well. I seem to be unable to control it. I can not simply ignore the situation. Not to let myself off the hook just yet, I did say somethings in the heat of the moment in arguments about it that I regret, I know they were bad, and probably attributed to my current situation with Marie. Unfortunately I totally legitimately can not remember any of those statements. I think I blocked them from my mind to help my ego.
I have begun to teach myself how to externalize and rationalize my thoughts. To break them down with reason, discuss multiple reasons or scenarios for things. To learn the reason for things, things I do and the things others do, why the world is the way it is.
I am listening to the song "Love Somebody" by Rick Springfield right now.
I do not know her well, the real her. But I have a good sense of humanity, i can sense things about people and especially her. I know, even from experience she is basically a good girl. kind and respectful. the kind of lady your mother might want you to settle down with, well almost. she does like to drink, she is not an alcoholic by any means but her tolerance and intake is ten times more than what I probably have consumed in my entire life. She drives a car and a motorcycle. I have never even ridden a bicycle in my entire life. she is Sweet with a hint of Sour. She is definably sexy, that kind of sexy that the cute neighbors daughter is- the gal next door. Not to be a creepy pig, but it is that kind of "cute sexy".
Well enough about her for a while. As it states in my profile, I love to cook. I am an Italian- American man in my 20s. My off the boat grandmother and my american born mother taught me how to cook when I was young, granted mostly Pastas, but hey- we like it, it is a stereotype for a reason. Sometimes with my posts I will write about food or cooking. because it is one of my tension relievers. I am NOT a professionally trained chef, I do not know any special tricks, but I learn alot from watching the food channel and cooking shows. One of my roommates was a culinary arts student so he taught me a few things. One of my ex-girlfriends from around 2009 was a culinary student also, she specialized in Italian cooking too. Lets call her "Beth". More on her up next. So, when I like to cook -I love garlic and onions, vegetables to my soul. I love to use a 6'' chef's knife to chop them finely.
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